My wife Rebecca has had a dream all her life to create
and capture music from her heart that would be a beautiful blessing to anyone
that hears it. Over the last several months she has devoted herself to this
dream. The result is a set of songs that I want to make available to you. For
those reading this INSIDER hard copy and have no access to the internet, CDs,
lyrics and stories are available thru our church office.
Those who can go to rebeccamartinmusic.com can access all
of that digitally. Naturally there was cost involved in making this music. If
you’d like to purchase her music online or make a donation to her personally it
would be a great encouragement and enable her to keep producing more music.
Below is the explanation from the opening page of the
website as to why she has done what she has now, the inspirations and
trepidations of the process and her enduring hope for you. Be blessed as you
learn and listen… -tm
Why music? Why now?
About 7 years
ago we adopted our son who had just turned 10 years old. The combination of his
reactions to the trauma he had lived through as well as destructive coping
skills he had learned served as a catalyst that brought my own childhood trauma
to the forefront of my life.
You see, as a
3 year old child, I had been in an explosion with my parents that sent me to a
hospital where I was separated from my them for 7 weeks as we recovered. In
time, my physical wounds healed, but unfortunately because of my young age, the
emotional wounds were never properly addressed & healed & so I too, had
learned a lot of unhealthy coping skills. But as I grew into an adult, I had no
conscious concept of what was lying just under the surface. I had learned to put on the happy face, act
like things were perfect and just stuff all feelings that were not pleasant.
As I
desperately tried to help our son adapt to this new life, I found myself
quickly sinking deep into a pit of despair, anxiety, fear and eventually
depression as we continually triggered each other, catapulting both of us
towards more & more unhealthy & traumatizing experiences. I was in a
bad place, alone & full of fear that I recognized were often irrational,
but without the tools to fight it off.
So I turned
to music as my lifeline. There was one
album by Lauren Daigle and several other songs that got me through this time. I
listened to them over and over and I declared to myself that even though I
could not feel the truth that was in these songs, I was choosing to believe
they were true. And I decided I would continue to declare these truths over my
life until and even after I could feel them.
Truths about God & my relationship with him & the hope that I
have in Him. The only thing I could feel most of the time was despair &
fear but I chose hope even when I didn’t feel it.
I also opened
myself up to a few close friends in a way I never had in my whole life. I chose
to be vulnerable & truthful even when it was ugly & messy &
embarrassing & I asked for help. And wouldn’t you know it, my exposing
myself & being honest with them actually drew them closer instead of
driving them away. I was terrified that if people knew the truth about me they
wouldn’t like me. But I have found the
opposite is true. The more real you are with most people, the more real they
will be with you.
In addition, I
got help from professionals. I went to
counseling & read more books than you can imagine on a whole variety of
topics so that I could understand what was happening inside me as well as my
son & the rest of my family. I’ve
tried to learn to listen first, then respond with compassion instead of
reacting. I still fail a good bit of the
time, but there’s been definite improvement.
So the long
answer as to why I have made this music now? Because I have hope again. And
this hope gives me purpose. Because I
want to give to others the hope & help that music gave me. I know the healing power the combination of
words & tunes can be.
Words matter &
when we marry them to music,
they entwine
with our souls & become part of who we are.
The other
reason I have made this music... because God gave it to me in many miraculous
ways & made it clear that I was to share it with others. I wasn't trying to become a song writer. But
because I had immersed myself in worship music for years, and one of the main
gifts I have practiced for decades is playing piano & singing, it flowed
out of the times where I leaned in &
listened to what was whispered into my soul.
Slowing down
to listen is a skill I'm not naturally good at, but I have practiced it lately
and these songs are a result. Each song
is a little miracle and a gift to me from a God who delights in giving good
gifts. My natural tendency is to hold
what is precious close to me. But as the title of this album indicates, this
whole season of my life has been to surrender- to let go. I invite you on this journey with me to let
go of the things that are controlling you & surrender to the One who knows
you intimately & wants to breath new life into you.
I believe the
songs that we plant in our minds & hearts will grow & bear fruit. If we fill ourselves with good, true &
uplifting music, we will have a plentiful harvest.
Here are the
seeds.
I’m
giving them to you to plant in your hearts.
Listen to these songs & be filled with truth.
May the fruit be evident in
your life.
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