With Justin's announcement of his transition there has been an amplified cry that I have heard for some time. Maybe you have heard it too. It goes something like this "Oh no another family with kids is leaving -OUR CHURCH IS DYING/IS DEAD/IS GOING TO DIE!
Let me be clear: this is a lie from the pit of hell.
Here's the truth-churches don't die b/c people leave-churches die b/c new people don't come. People leave churches all the time for healthy reasons like marriage, college, job change, death (I know that doesn't sound healthy but it is ;) People also leave churches for unhealthy reasons like unresolved conflict, being held accountable when they don't want it, and petty irritations.
I read this a long time ago and have seen it prove true-the healthy church loses 10% of it's attenders every year (for healthy and unhealthy reasons as stated above). This is often over looked b/c in a healthy church every year more than 10% will begin attending and so the church grows.
Now if the church doesn't invite their lost friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances the church will begin to die. Do the math. In 10 years no one will be there. The question you should be asking yourself right now is how many people have I invited to SMC in the last year? How about the last 5? How many have come? How many are still coming? If they are still here praise the Lord-if not where did they go-do you know?
How many lost people are you praying for on a regular basis? The deeper question is do you care about lost people? Do you have a burden that they need to be saved?
The death of the church comes in answering no to the last 3 questions.
Since we've addressed how churches die lets delve into how they live and even thrive. Let's even focus on how families with kids come and stay. At this point if you are hoping I'll toss out some quick easy trick-stop reading-you'll be disappointed. But if you actually want to be a part of seeing these folks be here read on!
Families with kids are often invited by other families with kids who feel KNOWN, AFFIRMED and SUPPORTED by the church they attend. Here's the deal we have 11 families with kids who regularly attend SMC (I'm not even counting the 4 "grand families"-that is those grand parents who regularly bring thier grand kids to SMC-who I believe count as families with kids too).
So let's get down to business-are they KNOWN to you? How many of those families can you name? How many of those families do you pray for on a regular basis? Do you want the list-let me know!
Are families AFFIRMED by you? Have you just gone up to a parent and just said "Glad you're here!" on a Sunday morning? I remember what it was like to load kids into car seats, get teenagers up and going and in general work to get my family to worship. A kind word to me or my kids made all the difference.
Calling the kids (and parents) by name, high fives (or low fives for the little ones) or just smiling at the family are a huge affirmation that we are thrilled the effort has been made. A note of encouragement can be gold to a discouraged parent. The little cards by the mail boxes and Kathy's office are there for you to bless people with. Have you affirmed a family lately?
Are they SUPPORTED by you? Have you had a family over for a meal? Maybe you don't like to host at your house-go out for pizza! Maybe you are shy-give the family a DQ gift card for ice cream! Could you babysit and give the parents a night out? This can be a big blessing that helps the marriage as well.
Can you serve our families by helping with nursery, children's church, or Sunday school? Several kids ministries have gone dark for lack of people to lead them. Mentoring a kid is a big investment but is a powerful tool of support for the parent. Do you have a fond memory of kids ministry that blessed you-maybe you need to bring it to the next generation-let me know how we can reimagine kids ministry you want to do.
If we do these things, the families will feel like our church loves them and they will want to share the love with their lost peers. It's really that simple-but it's not easy. Investing our love in families is often messy and even painful. Families (like everyone) can leave and when we love them it hurts, but at least we know they have not left for lack of love. Some people are doing this loving already in powerful ways but we need more if we want more to be here-so let's get at it!
Ok, the second way to catch and keep families with kids is to love our young, single adults who will likely get married and have kids some day. This is the long game and probably the hardest to play and win. As of this writing we have 14 people in the 18 to 20-something range that orbit SMC. Do you know who they are? Again, I can get you the list. This group needs prayer! If you do nothing but pray for God's blessing and guidance for them it will make a difference.But I know if you begin praying, you will end up doing more. You'll see them and say 'Hi'. You'll ask their parents about them. Maybe you'll send a birthday card. I'm trying to reach out to these people and just let them know I care. I invite them on adventures and take them when they want to go. Our leadership is even now pondering new ways to minister to this group-but everyone needs to help by simply just being aware they are among us and need love.
There is more but this is probably enough for now... let me know your thoughts...
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