How to deal with COVID-19 stress and anxiety...
(You can watch this talk on youtube https://youtu.be/Pi8mJz3qh9)
This is the sort of script Boomer Bauman, a trusted counselor and brother in Christ, and I used for our talk. There is some good and practical wisdom for our time. Be blessed! -Todd
1) What are some signs that I may
be experiencing an unhealthy amount of stress or anxiety at this time?
Sign number 1: Your body!
Notice your warning signs in your body! God designed our
bodies to send signals or red flags that can let us know our stress or anxiety
levels are rising. It may be clenched fists, tight jaw, gnashing of teeth,
increased temperature (I’m not talking about a fever here, but just feeling
more heat), restlessness in your body, pressure in your head or chest. These
are just a few possible signs that your body is trying to let you know
something needs to be relieved. Basically, our bodies keep the score and can
help inform you how well or how poorly you are coping with stress.
Sign number 2: Your relationships!
How are you are relating to others. You may notice that your
emotional reactions to interactions with people are out of proportion to what a
typical response may be. For example someone says something to you that
typically wouldn’t bother you, but this time you snap at them, yell, or become
controlled by your emotions. It probably has nothing to do with the person or
situation you are in at that moment, but when your stress capacity is full it
doesn’t take as much for it for overflow.
Sign number 3: Your sleep!
Are you having difficulty sleeping? Lying awake at night
feeling trapped in your thoughts or worries? You may also not be getting
restful deep sleep. Maybe you’re waking up throughout the night and then having
difficulty falling back asleep. Your brain may be attempting to work through
some stuff that you’re holding onto and haven’t really processed or coped with.
Sign number 4: Your daily functioning!
Are you struggling to just get through the day? Having
trouble accomplishing tasks or staying focused? Maybe having more difficulty
with things that you previously were able to do without much effort. Our mind
can be viewed like a machine. If we are constantly putting it under strain and
pressure it can crash. Taking care of yourself, learning healthy ways to cope
and practicing them can help relieve this pressure and keep the machine running
smoother.
These are just a few warning signs that we need to be
attentive to and attending to.
2) What are some coping tools I
can use to help relieve stress and anxiety?
There are many coping tools you can learn and practice that
make major differences in your stress and anxiety levels. I’ll name just a few,
but if you notice that you’re experiencing symptoms of heavy stress and anxiety
levels and it’s impacting your life, health or relationships I would strongly
encourage you to seek professional help.
Coping tools are not quick fixes. You may very well get
immediate relief from using them, but they require practice in order to master
them and get the most benefits from. It’s really about lifestyle change and
forming healthier habits and self-care.
1) Just breathe!
This may seem pretty easy, but when pressure is building up
we may forget that slowing down and focusing on our breath can do a lot of good
for our brain and body. It can help slow our whole system down and give your
mind a chance to catch up and think through healthy options to cope. One way to
do this is called a 4 Square breath. What this looks like is to take a deep
breath in through your nose on the count of 4. Hold the breath on the count of
4, Breathe out through your mouth on the count of 4, and pause for the count of
4. As you’re doing this you can picture in your mind that you are drawing a 4
and each line of the square is one part of this breathing technique. When your
thoughts start to drift away or you get distracted, don’t fight- that’s normal,
but try to notice that you’ve drifted into your thoughts and gently guide your
focus back to your breath. It can act like an anchor when the boat wants to
drift away.
2) Reframe the thoughts.
All feelings can be traced back to our thoughts. If the
feeling is anxiety it means that I am thinking about the situation or person in
an anxious way. The good news is that our thoughts don’t hold any inherent
power or authority unless we give it to them. We can reframe the thoughts,
which over time can change the way we feel. For example, if I’m thinking the
world is going to end I may feel more anxiety and then I may behave in a way
that stems from that anxiety. So I can notice that thought that the world is
going to end and reframe it as “God is in control and God is good. All I can
control is how I live my life in this moment, and this moment is a gift from
God.” Now there are many other healthy ways to reframe a negative thought, but
what it does is starts to get the negative thought cycle moving in a more
positive direction, which creates more positive feelings, which tend to create
more positive behaviors. When we do this often we are essentially training our
minds to naturally think more positively or rationally, which helps improve our
mood.
3) Do things that are recharging and life-giving
to you.
Don’t trust the feel likes. When we are stressed or anxious
we may not feel like doing things that will ultimately help us cope or feel
better. We need to recognize when we are obeying our feel likes and do the
opposite. Take a walk, get outside, just move. Sitting and fighting the
feelings or thoughts in our mind is exhausting and useless, but doing things
that are life-giving can help jump start you and improve your mood once you’re
doing it. One thing I hear a lot from people is that they don’t have the mood
or motivation to do things that they know are good for them. The truth is
motivation comes afterwards- it comes from doing. Taking action comes first,
even if it means pushing our self to move or having some support or
accountability from a friend or family member to do something and then feeling
more motivation is often a result of the behavior- not the other way around.
* Music, Art, Exercise, Meditation, Writing, building things
and other productive and constructive things would also be great coping skills,
as well as just talking it through with someone you trust.
3) How can parents help
their kids during this time?
Kids need and crave stability and structure, and in this
time of change and transition for many kids, one of the best things a parent
can do to help is to provide them with some stability and structure. This may
look like having a schedule or routine. And this doesn’t mean it has to be all
chores or work although parents may want that. Include some down time, some
social time, some time to get outside and be active or just time to talk
through how they are coping.
Outside of structure parents can normalize their child’s
feelings and even relate to them if you are also feeling the same. Some parents
feel like they need to be stoic and “be strong” whatever that means. It can be
very strong to be vulnerable and connect with your kids feeling to feeling and
provide some space for them to share. You don’t need to give advice or have
answers for them. Just Listen, Understand and Validate. It’s the LUV
model- Listen, Understand and Validate.
That’s it.
4) How can the church help during this time?
The church can reach out. In this time of social distancing,
quarantining, and isolation for many, the church as a family of believers can
pay attention and notice people that may just need a listening ear, a note of encouragement,
or a prayer in this time. Often what may prevent a church from doing what they
can during a time like this is the false belief that it isn’t enough. We may
focus more on what we can’t do (like cure the virus) than on what we can, such
as stay connected and point people towards Christ.
Helpful resources…
Headspace: https://www.headspace.com/covid-19
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